Thursday, February 7, 2008
5:24 PM
I walked down that muddy slope, just as i had done a countless number of times before i had graduated, giving way to the view of the locker bay that we had so frequently visited. Before, after and in between school hours to diposit and collect books, to catch up with the latest goings on in the lifes of our peers, or to simply take a much craved 5 minute break from the hustle and bustle of school life. I then proceeded to take a right hand turn as i had done so many times previously, which brought me to the entrance of the VCE centre that had been pretty much our refuge from the cold during the autumn and winter terms, our second home for the last 2 years of high school.
It was then that i finally gave way to this overwhelming sense of nostalgia which did nothing short of engulf my senses. It was then that the realisation that things were never going to be the same ever again, hit me. And however much i was looking forward to the start of the rest of my life, my future, i couldnt help but be wrenched back by this sense of reluctance to leave the past behind. To say a final farewell to the comfortable and secure cocoon this place had bestowed upon me for the last two years.
The familiar faces, the recurring sounds, the routine life we had become accustomed to. Its hard to leave the past behind. Hard to step out of your comfort zone into a world you know nothing about, where unpredictability and unstability reign supreme, and are merely a norm that its residents had now succumed to. Where theres no handbook or guide to murmur instructions into your ear every step of the way. When you have to start all over, its infuriating and trepidating as hell. Atleast it is for me, but as i said goodbye to the people i had seen almost everyday for the last 2 years, my mates, my teachers, the surroundings, i finally realised. Realised that it was going to be alright. That i didnt have to leave it all behind, that i could take it with me. and that, needless to say, provided me with some much needed comfort.
And somehow, as i walked out of school for the last time, finally managing to say goodbye to it, to the haven it had provided me with for so long, i knew that it had simply been a pit stop. One i'll cherish forever, but that i have to step out of if i wanted to embrace my dreams. I guess now, after all this time, i'm ready.
I always knew goodbyes were hard, and this just served as an accentuation of that fact, but what i failed to realise up till now, is that hello's are just as challenging.
