Sunday, October 14, 2007
12:18 PM

Surrounded by so many, yet i feel so alone. There are so many thoughts in my head, and i want to share them, sometimes its gets to the extent that i just want to burst, to cry out, so that someone, anyone will come and hold me and just let me cry out all my pain and anguish. but yet, i'm so afraid to let anyone in, because all the experiences i have all point towards dissapointment, leaving, sadness. Not too good an insurance policy. I feel like i'm diagonally parked in a parallel world. I wanna get rid of this sadness, this overwhelming fear that i have, wanna love with no reservations, wanna smile with a light heart, wanna have a spring in my step from my carefree thoughts.. but everytime i take those first baby steps, i choke up.
"To her, each mountain, each prairie looked the same; to them, there were subtle distinctions."
Why can't i ever make out that demarcation?
That being said, my Baby Brother who isn't much of a baby anymore just turned 18 today!!! woo hoo!! So, in light of this....
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JOEL!! I LOVE YOU!! YOU'RE THE BEST BRO A SISTER COULD ASK FOR!!