Monday, July 23, 2007
8:42 PM
There he lies, thousands of miles away...all alone with his thoughts, barely able to talk. I'll never forget his voice over the phone. I called him, expecting to hear the voice i always do, the voice of an upbeat, optimistic boy who was in love with life, and instead, i found myself hearing the voice of someone i didnt recognise. The voice of a person far beyond his 17 years. It resembled an old person, one abt to totally lose command of their vocal chords. Stretched, thin, cracked.
Like a former memory, a hollowed out vision of his former self. slowly deteriorating into nothingness.
That was enough to spark me off on a new round of tears. for a person who hardly ever cries, i've sure been doing a helluava lot of it. I've been bawling like a baby. and my head hurts so bad from it. i wanna stop crying, i really do, but i cant seem to stop. the tears just keep coming. never ceasing. i cant seem to concentrate on anything. least of all school. and it doesnt help that i've got insomnia and i havent slept in days. man! i'm in dire need of sleep! *SOB*
(Btw, thanks to Joel and Rajiv who managed to both be "ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT" and come up with the idea of knocking back a couple of drinks, which would ensure that i'd sleep like a baby. which was a splendid solution, with just one tiny hitch. I DONT BLOODY DRINK!! and drinking myself into a stupour isnt exactly what i wanna do. EVER)
God, please save him. We still have so much to do together. he has so much to live for, so many people love him. Please, dont take him away from us. Give us a miracle Lord. Please! i'm begging, on my knees, and begging!
