Life seemed to be going pretty well for awhile. I was actualy happy, contented. I knew it seemed too good to be true, but i thought to myself, "oh well, might as well savour it while it lasts." Little did i know that things were about to take a 180* turn. For the worse. I still dont quite know how to say this, i dont even know what i wanna write, because right now, it all seems so surreal to me. Like this nightmare is just that. A nightmare, a mere dream that i can simply wake up from with everything going back to normal. When i can pacify my racing heart by saying, "it was just a dream, it's not real". How i wish i could. I haven't even fully absorbed it yet, maybe i never will, but here goes. Try to make sense of it for me.

My cousin from Malaysia, this wonderful 17 year old boy, who's always so full of life, with so much love to give, who has the sweetest disposition, temperament that you would never beleiev one so young could posses, a never ending flow of lameness and a mile that never fades.Kenneth. He's got cancer. AGAIN. After we'd all thought that it was finall behind him. From one tumour in his leg, its spread to numerous other parts of his body. His mone marrow, lungs..you name it. his kidneys have failed,, he;s got a tube running down his nose into his stomach and the doctors say he's got a mere 3 weeks to live. A boy, who had his whole life ahed of him, who wanted to become a doctor so he could save others from their demise. This boy's got 3 weeks to live.

and i just dont know what to make of that. really. how is that in any way fair? ridiculous. thats what it is. and the worst part about it is that i'm here, so damn far away. and i cant do anything! i cant even talk to him now, cuz of the tube down his throat. so for now, all we can do is wait. Pray, hope for the best, and wait. But hope is a nasty thing though. It gives you the courage to beleive that a miracle can take place, but what happens when it all comes crashing down? what then?

the answer? i have no idea. i wish i did, but i dont. so for now, everyone, just keep praying, and we'll leave it in the hands of the Lord, cuz theres nothing more we can do.